Exercisers Anonymous

"Hi, my name is Lindsay, and I hate exercising."

(I should be hearing a rousing "Hi Lindsay" from those of you who also feel this way!)

I truly, truly hate it. I hate spelling it because I'm always wanting to add a "c" after the "x", and I hate doing it.

A couple nights ago I was with a friend and she said, "Lindsay - I've known you for over two years. I know you're not an angry person. I've never seen you angry... except for when you talk about exercising. Then you scare me a little."

The experts say you should find something you love to do. Great point. Thank you, experts.

I love kickboxing! And did it for quite awhile, but it's across the road from work. I get out of work around 4:00... kickboxing starts at 6:30. I don't want to hang around the thriving metropolis of Hooksett for 2.5 hours, nor do I want to drive half an hour home, change, drive half an hour back, get my butt kicked for an hour, and drive the half an hour home again!

So, I got the videos. Billy Bob, Billy Bo, OH - Billy BLANKS! Not really a good time.

This New Year's I made the "resolution" that I had to exercise before watching TV in the evening.

In order to do that, I decided to take the expert's advice and find something I liked to do. I found a dance video that I thought would be way more fun than an aerobic one. Here's the unfortunate thing. Don't know if it was my upbringing where dancing was not quite the thing to do, or if no one told me that my hips were actually fused at birth, but I am NOT a gifted dancer. I knew this about myself, but thought maybe a video would help. I get more of a workout laughing at my uncoordinated self, then I do from actually dancing. (side-note: In my mind I am an amazing dancer... practically a prima dona. On the dance floor, I am more like an epileptic squirrel. True Fact.)

But even this video, with it's laughter inducing moves, is getting on my nerves. The last time I did it I thought I might have a stroke, because she kept saying things like "The higher you jump, the more calories you burn" and I would yell at her that I was jumping as high as I could, thank you very much. Then she'd say "Give it all the energy you can" to which I screamed that I didn't have any energy left, and would she please leave me alone.

My favorite exercise is to just take walks. But trying to take walks during the winter in NH is a post of its own... snow banks, snow plows, ice, leave for work when it's dark, get back when it's dark... well, you get the gist and now I don't need to write a new post.

If only my inner rage at exercise itself could burn calories, instead of raise my blood pressure, I'd be all set.

Funny thing is, this entire post was created while I was taking a two mile walk today... in sub-zero temps, climbing on snow banks when cars came, wondering just how long cheeks have to be exposed before they are frost-bitten, and proudly wearing the red hat that Evan informed me make me look like an old lady in a crosswalk.

Thank you for your time.

I Laugh At The Snow...

And focus on these!

AJ?? AJ Jacobs??

Having laughed out loud on almost every page of "The Year of Living Biblically" by A. J. Jacobs, I decided that a stop at Barnes & Noble was in order on Friday night, to pick up a copy of "The Know-it-All," also by him.

To save time, or because I had been unable to find it - take your pick, I went to the reference desk to ask where it was located, and while I was there, overheard another patron asking for the same book. However, he gave the wrong last name of the author. His girlfriend looked at him quizzically, asking why he was looking for a book about a guy who reads the Encyclopedia from A-Z and he informed her in a condescending tone that he had read a previous book by this author (insert wrong last name) and it was funny.

I followed the reference desk clerk to the humor section like a little lamb (however, there was very little bleating on my part, and very little being-named-Mary on her part) and saw that there were only two copies of this book left. I grabbed one for myself, and took the other copy to bestow upon my fellow seeker back at the reference desk. Because, I'm sure you'll find it surprising that his clerk was having a hard time finding said book under the wrong author's name.


Walking up to the man, I said, "Not that I was eavesdropping, but here is the book you were looking for." He grunted "oh" and took it from me. Hardly the kiss on the neck I was expecting... oh wait - that's someone ELSE who always kisses me on the neck in Barnes & Noble!

I went up to pay for my book, a little saddened in the Good Samaritan department, but excited nonetheless to buy my book and get home to crack it.

After dinner, I assumed my favorite reading position of on my stomach on my living room floor to begin laughing and getting smarter, as I read AJ's book on his quest to become the smartest person in the world by reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica through.

And I fell asleep.

At 8:30. On a Friday night.

Apparently I was a little more tired than I thought. So, I went to bed and slept for 12 hours. But on Saturday, I began to read in earnest, and have laughed many, many times since!

The way he documents interjecting what he is currently learning into all his conversations kills me. It reminds me of when I read all the books by Linda Greenlaw about being a female lobster fisher"man" off the coast of Maine. And I had so many random lobster facts in my head, that they overflowed into all aspects of my life... until my friends graciously informed me that they were not nearly as interested in these books as I was, and could I periodically have a conversation that did not include crustaceans, please and thank you.

One thing that particularly hit my funny bone was a list of 10 suggestions to do with your life, to have a shot at being written into this great volume... and #10 is to "Become a liturgical vestment: I know this is easier said than done, but since every garment ever worn by a religious figure gets a nice picture..."

I've been blogging for years, and those of you who read my blog know that I rarely do book reports. I can most likely count on one hand the number of times I've written up what I was currently reading. So now, I'll let you in on a secret.

I learned in "The Year of Living Biblically" that A. J. Jacobs googles himself... rather frequently. And after having a conversation with some friends yesterday, I began to wonder at how big Google really is. So I decided to write a post about him, and see if Google can connect his Manhattan-ness with my NH-ness. If so, I will pronounce Google quite clever... quite clever indeed.

Mystery of Tears

Within five days I held a baby who was hours old, watched a bride and groom begin on the journey as husband and wife, and attended a funeral for a man who was much too young and healthy to leave this world.

All of those events included tears.

Some joy. Some sorrow.

And I wondered about the tears.

A baby... just hours old. A small piece of Heaven. What joy he brings to those whose lives he'll enrich. And yet, life is ahead of him. And life includes growth. And growth includes pain.

A union... just hours old. A foretaste of Heaven. What joy that brings to the two involved, as well as to their families and friends. And yet, marriage is ahead of them. And marriage includes growth. And growth includes pain.

A death... A closeness to Heaven. The only scenario that does not include impending growth and pain for the individual. And yet, the scenario where the most tears are shed.

Emotions are strange, yet beautiful things.

Story People

this is a picture of the future

and you'll notice that there's a lot of blank space

because people haven't made up their minds about it

and the future doesn't have a lot of time

for that kind of indecisivenessFrom one of my all-time favorite artists...

My Mantra

"Criticism doesn't bother me...
unless
it's from a stranger,
an acquaintance,
a co-worker,
a friend
or a family member"

-gleaned this quote from the web, and couldn't find an author to attribute it to

L*I*N*D*S*A*Y

I love my name. Always have.

There are, however, a multitude of ways to spell the name that I am called by.

I've seen them all. Been addressed by them all.

The most common is replacing the "a" with an "e."

Or forgetting the "d" in the middle.

The most creative I have seen was "Lynnzee."

Until yesterday.

I ordered take-out. Spelled my name at least three times for the exasperated person on the other end of the phone.

And when I went to pick up my food, I saw on the tag.

LRNCSY

And now I have seen them all.

It's a New Year

And new years traditionally bring the excitement of a clean slate!
The looking back on the old.
The longing for the new!

In thinking about the past year, the word that I've decided sums it up is...
Intense.

2008 was incredibly intense.
But good. Oh so good.
It was a year of intense growth.
Which comes with a price tag of intense pain.
But brings the gift of intense joy.
And with the joy... freedom. A sense of flying.
And I long for 2009 to build on the foundation that was laid in 2008.

God and I had a year of reconnecting.
I felt like my extreme need for Him was almost physical.
The intensity of wanting to be in His word.
That almost desperate longing for being in constant contact was something I'd always wanted, but never quite had.

2008 was a year of getting on my knees before God almost daily
and then learning how to get on my face before Him.
It was a year of learning how to be me... unapologetically.
And beginning to care what He thinks more than what others do.

It was a year of finding the spine I've always had, but never quite known how to use.
A year of taking baby steps towards healthily learning how to say no.

And with all of these things, a deep down joy started returning to my life.

So, now in 2009, my prayer is a life FILLED TO OVERFLOWING with joy!
Getting full gulps instead of the sips of joy and freedom I experienced in 2008.

My Life at Work

I am currently surrounded by:

one chewing ice
one chomping almonds
one yelling into the phone
one snapping gum

For people who love repetitive noises as much as I do... this is awesome.

And that is why God created headphones!