Fresh Beginnings

For my birthday I received a Willow Tree figurine of a girl with arms flung wide, reveling in the joy of life. And it made me cry. Because that’s what I had been… and what I longed to be again.

But I was stuck. I was hurting. There was none of the joy in life that I was used to experiencing.

The past year had been filled with difficult situations. Each time I would struggle to regain my footing, a new circumstance would come along my path and knock me down again.

I wasn’t sleeping. I was exhausted. And the closest to giving up that I’ve ever been.

In my exhaustion, there was a constant crying out… “Jesus… I can’t do this any more. Why are You doing this to me?” Sometimes it even took too much effort to vocalize my thoughts…or to get on my knees. I would be flat on my face, sobbing at the foot of the cross. And still, I felt so alone.

I was beginning to feel frantic. There had to be something better.

The desperation reached a fever pitch in December. I felt as if my spiritual life was hanging in the balance. Something had to break, or I would be the one breaking.

And I started looking ahead to 2008 - clinging to the fact that it could be a new slate. A fresh start.

My backbone began to stiffen, my soul began to wonder if there was a small glimmer of hope.

I began to tell myself I was not going to give up without a fight.

A plan began to formulate...

I knew that God wanted to meet with me. He wanted to be an “us.” But “us” as a word means “more than one,” so “us” only works when I make the choice to meet with Him.

It is so elementary… what I have been raised with… lived most of my life doing.

Since the beginning of the year, I’ve been immersing myself in Him. Relearning what it is to willingly spend time with Him. Instead of just screaming “I can’t do this,” choosing to rest in the fact that He’s not asking me to do it… at least not alone.

And the joy is returning. I no longer look at the Willow Tree figurine with envy. I look at her, smile, and throw my arms in the air as well.

Like Mary, as she sobbed in the garden that morning of His resurrection, Jesus came to me. He was waiting for me to stop crying long enough to hear His gentle, “Lindsay.”

"Your satisfaction with Him will never be greater than your desire for Him." - Dr Paul Chapell

A Great Man

There are some fathers who emulate God's Father love... who teach you to crave His love, and not to fear Him.

My Dad is quietly one of those.

Happy birthday, Daddy.

There's not a day that goes by where I'm not thankful that I'm your little girl.

I Love to LAUGH!

Massage - $77
Bottled Water - $2.50
Sharing a laugh with a stranger - Priceless

This afternoon, after a most relaxing massage (with no Houston-esque extras, you'll be glad to know) I went to Barnes & Noble.

And while there, made a quick trip to the restroom. Another lady was ahead of me, but right before we walked in we saw a woman walk into the men's room.

First lady and I looked at each, shrugged our shoulders, and went into our respective stalls.

All was silent, and then we heard a horrified yell from beyond the wall.

And we both burst out laughing.

The laughing continued until we met again at the sink.

"I can't wait to tell my family about this," she said.

"And I can wait to tell my blog about this," thought I.

Emotional Bandaids

The original bandaid had been on for so long that I no longer knew what the wound underneath looked like.

When it hurt, I would just carefully place a fresh bandaid on top of all the others. From my vantage point, there was always a clean bandaid to look down at.

She came alongside and saw what I was choosing to turn a blind eye toward. A deep wound that would never have a chance to heal, because it was being jealously guarded by someone afraid of the pain that taking the years worth of bandaids off would entail.

A relationship of trust was built, and a tiny thought in my heart began to wonder what it would be like to uncover the wound.

The fear was still an insurmountable obstacle, but I was lovingly persuaded to let someone else do the revealing.

Silent tears rolling down my cheeks... shaking in fear... my soul laid completely bare.

Just as a child panicking at the thought of having a bandaid ripped off a skinned knee, the fear of what would be found was worse than the pain of the actual process.

Afterwards, sobs of exhaustion and relief. It was over.

The wound was revealed.

It could now start to heal.

My Wish for 2008

Twenty years from now

you will be more disappointed

by the things you didn't do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines,

sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore.

Dream.

Discover.

-Mark Twain

Shoppin' for Shovels

NH has had the snowiest December on record. And with yesterday's storm, it looks like January wants to beat some records as well.

So, at the top of my mental list of things to do this evening was "buy a shovel."

I told Dad about it. He said, "There are lots of shovels out there. Make sure you get one that's not too big for you... one that will work well for you."

Now I was envisioning a store with rows upon rows of shovels... all shapes, colors and sizes.

I told Steph. She said, "Uh oh - do you need me to go with you to buy this shovel?"

For goodNESS sake, thought I... this was supposed to be an easy thing to cross off my list. Now, everyone is questioning my shovel buying abilities.

I am 29.

I can buy a shovel on my own.

Target was my store of choice. I walked in, and there were no rows upon rows of shovels.

There was one small aisle, and it had only one type... and the handle was retractable... and I didn't like it.

I scoffed at their sad selection and informed the shovel aisle in no uncertain terms that I was taking my money to Lowe's, where I would have a fabulous selection to choose from, and would purchase the epitome of shovel perfection.

Into Lowe's I marched. And went to "Seasonal," because when you live in NH and it's January 2nd, "Seasonal" says to me "Shovels, Snowblowers, Ice, Sand, Etc."

Apparently the people who create the hanging signs in Lowe's work from FLORIDA, because the "Seasonal" section was filled with annuals, perennials, and enough dirt to cover just about anything you desired. WHO even plants flowers in January in NH??

By this time, having had my shovel buying prowess questioned, I was not going to fail on this mission. I looked all over, and finally had to ask someone.

He said, "I don't have many left," and pointed to FOUR shovels.

Who even knew that with the 87 feet of snow that we've gotten in the last three days, that others would want to purchase shovels as well?


The handles didn't retract... in fact, they were a little bent, supposedly to help my back, so I grabbed one and went to pay for it.

The cashier who rang me up works at the place that I work, so to make nice small talk I said, "Wow - it's a long day for you, eh?"

This apparently was the equivalent of me holding a knife to her throat, as she glared at me, mumbled something in the affirmative, and then threw my change at me.

Note to self... don't break cardinal rule of acknowledging co-workers outside the confines of our beloved building.

I walked my shovel back to my car, and informed it that it's name was now "Frank."

He sat up front, but he is not much of a conversationalist.

I got home, but it was so bitterly cold I had already decided Frank and I would shovel tomorrow... and when I turned into my driveway, much to my joyous surprise and relief I saw...

Frank was not needed tonight!


Someone had already shoveled me out.

A Little Re-cap of New Year's Eve

Last night, the festivities began at Texas Roadhouse with Drewey, Amy, DJ & Wes... oh, and me.

The wait was l-o-n-g... including much peanut tossing back and forth. A particularly bling-ed out patron was caught in the cross-fire once, but no harm done...

The food was amazing, as always, and then we headed back to DJ's place... losing Drewey to a Watch Night service along the way.

By the time we reached DJ's house, my body was seeing my food choice as a suicide attempt, and was doing all that it could to let me know it did not approve.

Every once in a while, since having my gallbladder taken out last fall, my body decides to revisit the fun times that gallbladder attacks were, just to see if I remember what they're like.

Believe me... I remember.

So, for about 45 minutes, I lay curled in a ball on DJ's bedroom floor, assuring my body we would get through this.

DJ came in and rubbed my back, and when I could uncurl, he lay down beside me, shoulder to shoulder, for support.

After I convinced my body that it would survive to see another year, we watched "Sleepless in Seattle" which is probably one of my top five favorites for movies. Wes threatened to go in and curl up in a ball on the floor at having to watch a chick-flick, but I think he made it through just fine.

On this day of focusing on what the last year held, and what the future may hold, I think on this...

I am lucky in the friends that I have!

The World Says "It's Been Eight Years...

... you can forget."

My heart screams back, "NEVER."

When my Dad told me the news that Friday afternoon, I felt my body and my spirit split in two.

My mind floated above my body, numbly observing it crumpled on the floor, groaning under the weight of the most agonizing grief I'd ever experienced.

And at that moment, I thought that I would never be whole again.

But I learned that time does heal wounds.

I learned that the anguish that made it impossible to eat for days, eventually dulled.

The tears that were constantly on my cheeks, eventually dried.

I also learned that in choosing to live my life to the full, it honors her memory.

I've learned to smile instead of cry every time I put my perfume on, and to say her name in conversation, even when it seems awkward.

I've learned that grief goes from a piercing stab to a dull ache to a sweet savor.

That some days I can't remember what her laugh sounded like, and I panic.

But that on other days I remember something I'd forgotten, and it brings renewed happiness.

This summer we went to visit her... and I learned that it's harder than I thought it would be to kneel at the gravestone of a precious friend, brushing debris from the surface.

But I've also learned that friendship goes beyond death, and the countless tears I've cried will be replaced with sweet gales of laughter when we're reunited.

Someday.

An Addie-ism

Addie pointed to the silver ring on my thumb...

"Does that mean that you're married?"

"No," I replied. "It just meant that I liked it, so I bought it."

She began to cry.

"I'm SORRY that you're so lonely," she wailed.

I tried to assure her that Aunt Lindsay was just fine with being single, that I'm not exorbitantly lonely.

A minute later she said,

"Well, at least you don't have to bother with a child... or cook larger meals."

Aaaah - the upswings of singledom.

Now We Are 14!

Merry Christmas!

A Quick Little Quip

I was playing my piano last night, and Addie was curled up in my living room chair.

The song finished, and her lilting little voice said,

"Your music is sweet. Sweet like candy."

LOVE!

Merry Christmas, my friends!

Good Ol' Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head
'There is no peace on earth,' I said,
'For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.'

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
'God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.'

Till ringing, singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Things That Make Me Say "Hmmmm"

It seems to me that I'm on the incorrect coast...

Of All The Indignities

I went to get my hair cut today.

The hydraulic in the chair was broken.

They made me sit on a booster seat.

The end.

It's Us... or Is It??

One can never tell when one is wearing glasses as large as one's face.

This is what I call the epitome of incognito!

More Thoughts on Chivalry

After my recent post on chivalry, I've done a lot more thinking on the topic... had some discussions with friends, and come to a bit more of an understanding of what I think on the topic.

Here are the results:

In my opinion the seeming death of chivalry was brought on by the whole women's lib movement, and those of us who are coming in the aftermath have to decide which side to stand on... and the lines have become grayed, so the choice is harder then ever to make.

As a single woman, I have both sides screaming at me... one side stating that I don't need anyone else to make my life fulfilling... or to help me survive. It's my responsibility to prove to the world that I am just as competent as my male counterparts... more competent even, and I don't need help. Asking for or accepting help is admitting weakness... and weakness is not to be tolerated, when the goal is equality.

The other side, the side that comes from inside my heart, knows that I was created differently. It yearns to be taken care of... to freely admit that sometimes I do need help. To acknowledge that it feels comforting when someone is taking care of me... and to take pride in being what the world scoffs at as the "weaker sex."

Living under the microscope, watched carefully for being an almost 30 single career woman is an interesting place to find myself... Some are scornful because I freely admit that all I want to be is a wife and mother. Others are filled with disdain because I'm refusing to sit at home and wait for my knight to come in and sweep me off my feet... instead, I'm out following my dreams in school, and making a living for myself.

Is this where I saw myself when daydreaming as a little girl? Not at all. I had the names of my yet-to-be-born children all picked out... and even some potential groom's names :)

So here I am, trying to find the balance. Trying to prove myself in the world, desperately not wanting to be pitied for my single status, and yet trying to remember to graciously accept help if needed...

But there is still that little bit of me that wants the world to know that if there's not that specific someone out there taking care of me right now, I can do a pretty good job taking care of myself.

PS - all of this does not take into account the three amazing men in my family, who take good care of me, though two of them live miles and miles away.
Just this morning, my big brother was out in the snow at 6:15 helping me get my car started when the battery died.

Things That Are Bad

* Having a severe case of the giggles.

Things that are really bad

* Having said case of giggles in A&P class this night.

As I watched the professor flit back and forth between her notes, the book, the whiteboard, and the projector, a thought popped into my mind...

She is like a spastic octopus.

And no one can have a thought that profound, without having some sort of laughage.

Especially not me.

One Symbol and One Signal

Yesterday as I was traveling down the highway, I came behind a car that had a little fish on the back.

"How nice," I thought, feeling instant solidarity with the driver.

I was in the left hand lane, so was beginning to pass him when he put his blinker on.

Being already half way past him, I didn't let him into my lane, as this would have entailed me braking quite heavily.

As I completed passing him, I looked over to see him... flipping me off!

And I did not like this.

Not one bit.

Tiara Envy

So, last evening Amy & I went out… and as we were leaving she said, “I dare you to wear that tiara.”

We’ve been friends for a very long time. She should have known better.

I wore it to dinner

To the Home Depot

To the movies

And to Barnes & Noble

There were many stares.

I can only imagine that it’s because the people of Manchester were jealous.

Because everyone secretly wants to wear a tiara.

True story.

Is Chivalry Dead?

Or am I just becoming too self-sufficient to accept it?

I haven't lived at home for over 10 years... and I've had my own place for over five years.

If my toilet stops working, I fix it.
When my headlight goes out, I change it.
The mornings my car wont start, I jump it.
I lose something down the sink, I retrieve it.
Arms full and need a door opened, I use my feet.

And sometimes when I'm out and a guy doesn't hold the door, or cuts me off, or is just plain rude, I wonder if chivalry is dead...

But then I think maybe they would have treated me differently, given half a chance, but I was too focused on doing it myself.

There are still the guys who reach for the door, and our hands collide in mid-air. As I pull my hand back, I'm grateful... and a little ashamed... and I chalk one up for them on the side of chivalry lives on.

Chloe's Artwork

I took Chloe to work with me for a little while today, and she drew this masterpiece on the whiteboard in my classroom.

Basking In The Glow of Thankfulness

My heart is full of thanks, on this my favorite holiday!

The opportunity to write down all the things that make life worth living is a tradition that I cherish.

My life = so rich!

Memories From a Nine Year Old... and Beyond

Dad reading the Bible to Mom as she did her hair each morning, then the quiet discussions of what that passage meant to them

Mom and Dad, kissing as they pass each other in the kitchen

Each night, having Dad come in and either sitting on the end of the bed, or kneeling by my bed, praying for me

Being nine was twenty years ago, and since I've been home this weekend, I've seen all of these played out. Time hasn't changed any of them.

I slept better last night than I have in months. My spirit knows that it can relax... that all is right with the world... that it is home.

Things...

... I learned this week

* That I have amazing friends who care about what's going on in my life.
(I knew this already!)

* That I should have written a proviso along with my last post. Yes, life is life, but I wrote that bit a little while ago and thought it a beautiful piece that I wanted to share. Didn't realize that it would release the firestorm of care that it did... I've had emails and phone calls coming in all day from people concerned for my well-being. Thanks, my friends! God is good. All the time.

... I laughed at this week

When I was leaving the hospital on Monday night, I stopped in the playroom to say goodbye to Luke. I walked in and he said, "Don't come in here! I'm already on a date with someone else!"

"Aunt Lulu just came in to say goodbye and I love you," I said.

(long sigh) "Love you, too."

... I laughed at this day

As I was walking to my car tonight after work, a call came into my cell from a number that I didn't recognize. I answered, and the caller identified himself as an

ARMY RECRUITER!

He stated that they were calling all the students who were currently registered at NH Tech.

"Did you have plans for after you graduate," he wondered.

I informed him that I am almost 29 and work full time. (I left out the part about at the rate things are going with my schooling, I'll be 83 by the time I graduate!)

"Oh," said he. "Well, have you ever considered the military?"

"Yes," I replied... "and then I crossed it off my list of things to do."

True story!

Thoughts

You've wanted this your whole life. You've begged, prayed, cried, and dreamed.

And on the horizon, you see the answer.

You run to it... spirit soaring... heart recognizing it's own dream.

As you reach to embrace it, you see amidst the hundreds of similarities, a core difference. And with horror you realize, this is not the long-awaited answer to your dream.

Your heart - a dichotomy.

One half, picking up it's shattered pieces - telling itself that in finding an answer so close to what it's dream was, there must be another one out there that fits perfectly.

The other half, willing and ready to give up - telling itself to focus on the similarities, and ignore the core difference. Mold your dream into a new one... one that melds with this answer, because life is short.

And you know, that even though you want the part of your heart that is ready to give up to win, true happiness would not be found with a core difference.

So, you continue on... begging, praying, crying and dreaming.

A Glimpse Back

She affectionately referred to me as "one of my best friends."

She jokingly called me "mom."

She would have been 27 today.

And she wrote this in my yearbook... "Never give up, never look back, and always have a box of tissues on hand - I hear the road is rough."

Little did she know, a good many of those tissues would be used mourning her.

But because of her, I try to live my life to the full... to never give up... and never look back.

However, on her birthday, I'm allowed a brief glimpse back... and the use of a few more tissues.

Who's HOME???

ME!!!

And SO happy to be here... so happy. Practically kiss-the-ground happy!

And now, to let you in on the secret, let's review where I've not been:

Haiti
Oman
Uruguay
South Africa
Thailand
Oregon
Netherlands (the)

Put 'em together and what do you get?? Where Lindsay has been since last Monday! The fourth largest city in the country, in the "everything-is-bigger" state of TEXAS!

The training ended on Friday and I got to spend the rest of the weekend with my friends Will & Christian, baby-three-weeks-away-from-making-an-appearance & two of Christian's younger brothers. We had a good time of painting their new apartment, reminiscing about years spend in VA, eating at Whataburger, going to The Galleria (mall second only in size to the Mall of America) and playing Trivial Pursuit.

Overall, this trip was really good. And overall, I am pretty much the happiest girl in NH, being home, home, HOME!

Last But Not Least

Lindsay is NOT, I repeat NOT in the Netherlands!

And she'll be home on Sunday night...

Then the secret will be released.

The End.

Dear Claire,

You will know soon :)

I'll be back safe and sound in NH on Sunday...

For now, just know that I am not in Oregon!

Love,
Lindsay

If I Were in Thailand, I'd Visit Tad & June

But I'm not, so I cant.

Today, was the last full day of training. Tomorrow we're only meeting from 7 - 12... then tomorrow afternoon, I get to see one of my friends whom I haven't seen in years. YAY!

I've learned a lot this trip - both about training and about myself. It's been a good opportunity and I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity.

And I'll be incredibly glad to be back home!

Who's In South Africa??

One... two... three... Not it!

Today was a full day of training.

And now I'm off to watch my Red Sox win this thing!!

PS - I miss NH... a lot!

There Once Was a Girl...

... who didn't travel to Uruguay!

Before I left for this trip I had to fill out a traveling profile for the person who would book my flights, hotels, etc.

I put "preferably an aisle" for my flight preference. That apparently read "Lindsay wants to sit in the middle of two large men on both her flights... oh, and please make sure her seatmates fall asleep... and snore for the duration of both flights" to the person who booked my flights.

Also, for the hotel, a king size bed was requested for me. I got two doubles... so, if anyone wants to come to anywhere-but-Uruguay, come on down.

We had a full day of training today, and it was very informative. I like the guy who is running it, and I look forward to the next three days. I'll come back one of the world's best nine trainers, I have no doubt.

And that's what I have to say about that.

I Have Landed

And I'm not in Oman :)

Perhaps at a later time I will tell you all the things about the flight, but right now, I'm tired.

The end.

Us? Competitive?

There is a certain brother of mine with whom my competitive nature tends to show itself more often than not. I wont name any names, but he has red hair and lives next door to me.

When we were younger, it did nothing to help family harmony... now that we're grown, it brings much laughter.

In the last month we've been "helping" each other get healthier by making it a competition.

This morning, I was feeling quite smug as I started my walk at 7:15. "Really, I should get points for even being out of bed at 7:15 on a Sunday, much less walking my little feet off," I was thinking...

BLAST! Coming toward me, on his way HOME from his walk was the aforementioned brother.

When we got within yelling distance, I asked where he had walked to. He replied, "To the mini golf course... it's really dark out there at 2:00am." For those of you unfamiliar with NH geography, the mini golf course is at least seven miles from our home.

Not to be out-done I graciously informed him that I wouldn't be in attendance at church this morning, as I was walking to the Mall of NH and most certainly could not be back by 10:30.

(on a side note, when he told me where he had really walked to, I specifically went a little further, even though before seeing him I had been contemplating turning back because I was cold)

It makes me smile that this competitive must-always-beat-those-around-me gene has been passed on to his daughter. We'll be eating dinner, none of us aware that we're in a race, when suddenly Chloe will throw down her fork and declare, "I WIN!"

PS - This afternoon I am packing for my trip... and I'm not going to Haiti.

The Trip of Which We Do Not Speak

A couple of weeks ago at work, I was given a big compliment by my supervisor. He chose me out of all the trainers at our company to attend additional training. Now, instead of training employees in our call center exclusively, starting in 2008 I will hopefully be traveling to many locations to help other trainers with their facilitation skills in the classroom.

It was an incredible boost to my spirit, and a wonderful answer to prayer, as I'd just been asking God to send something along to help me cherish the special stage of life that I'm currently in.

In an effort to keep all scary stalkers at bay, I've been advised to keep the location of my travels off my blog until I return.

So, I decided to make a game of it. I leave early this Monday, and will post on my blog each day a place that I am not! ha HA!

I leave you with this... I am not going to Madagascar!

Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

Cards that come in the mail from my VA brother & sister-in-law that say...

Red Rover, Red Rover, send cute, financially stable, emotionally mature men right over!

LOVE IT!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

... go to iParty with a friend & try on wigs!! (wonder why they didn't put THAT on a throw pillow?)

Being Short = Danger, Danger!

This morning, after purchasing my iced Dunkin Donuts nectar-of-the-gods, I was walking across the parking lot to my car.

And there was a large semi trying to get out of a small place.

He was pulling out at a tight angle, and suddenly, all I saw to my very-close-right was his chrome grill!

But then he cut the wheel even more, and we made eye contact.

And he read in my eyes, "Please don't run me over, because that's not really fun for me."

And he didn't.

That is all.

A Tale of Two Cousins

DJ was born eight months before me and we've always been friends... close ones.

Growing up, he used to come and stay with our family a couple weeks each summer, and we'd spend hours talking, playing & betting Skittles on "Pass the Pigs," fighting, laughing... all the things that cousins do.

We went through Bible school together. When I was frustrated, he'd give me his arm to punch. And I'd give him my ear to talk to when he was frustrated.

There have been countless hours of laughing together. We saw each other through our first crushes, cried when our hearts got broken, and supported each other to where we are now.

When I moved back to NH, we lived next door to each other for the first four years, and the bond deepened.

There's nobody that I'll fight easier with, and there aren't many that I trust more.

If I ever stay home from work, I expect a phone call soon after 7:00, after he's driven by and seen my car still in the driveway... "Just checking in to make sure you're ok."

Or he can tell when it's been a bad week at work, and will call on a Saturday and let me know that he's ready for a ride on the bike, would I like to come along.

And this past week, when parts of my world were threatening to fall in on me in ways that I couldn't handle, he took over. He stood up for me, comforted me, drove to my house late at night, and called numerous times to get the status of my courage.

Right now, he's the happiest that I've ever seen him... and it makes me no end of happy for him.

Love you, Deej... thanks for being one of my best friends ever.

Dear Diary... My Life is Hard

1:16am - wake out of deep sleep to strong skunk odor in bedroom

convince self because of how light it is in bedroom, that alarm must be about to go off

shocked to see have been sleeping for less than two hours

in sleep-fogged mind think how to make sure skunk smell does not infiltrate clothes, bed, me

decide that air conditioner (with window space next to it filled in with cardboard/plastic, etc) is letting in a lot of skunk grossness

rip out cardboard & plastic, then realize air condition way too heavy for one person to get out of window

now stuck with large gaping hole next to air conditioner, where offending odor can wander in at will

open window tad bit more and watch air conditioner fall to the ground

feel pain and realize that left palm was in way of air conditioner as it fell, and is now scraped, pulsing and bleeding

close window

stare mournfully at fallen a/c unit

wonder briefly if skunk is in bedroom, as odor still strong

repair wounds with carebear band-aid

walk around entire apartment spraying yummy smelling deodorizer

crawl into bed

get out of bed after realizing sleep is going to elude me for awhile

be angry at late night talk show hosts never heard of who talk about asinine things

mute tv

blog about whacked-out experiences that only seem to happen to me

decide to pop in "House" DVD

hope to fall asleep on couch, lulled by the bitter diatribes of Hugh Laurie

Ten Random Things About Me

I was "tagged" on another website of mine, and figured I'd post it here as well... but without the guilt inducing of "tagging" 10 others.

And, all ten of these things are different than this post from last May.



1) My biggest fear is discovering a body hanging from my shower head



2) I am strangely addicted to reading biographies of random people and am currently reading one of a female neurosurgeon



3) Secretly, I've always wanted to be The Tollbooth Lady, repleat with obscenely long nails & multiple rings on each finger



4) My spelling is so poor that I keep dictionary.com or a Word document open all day long at work, so I can double check for typos (and that goes for at home when I'm writing or commenting on blogs)



5) Once I ran over a snake... it made a popping sound... I shiver uncontrollably every time I think about it



6) I attended W's first inauguration... but b/c I'm so short, couldn't see a darn thing. Periodically my over-six-feet-tall friends would launch me into the air for quick glances of the goings-on



7) I sang my first solo when I was five



8) In the last few days, I've probably killed over 30 crickets in my apartment



9) I have a shot glass collection, even though I don't drink



10) My Dad taught me how to make a mean egg roll!

In Which I Tell Not-Quite-All About A&P

Another Thursday night... another A&P class...

I walked into the classroom and with great relief saw that my shadow from last week was sitting several rows up from my self-proclaimed Lindsay Spot, and next to another participant.

My heart soared as I walked to my seat in the back corner of the room and put my stuff down. I would not be up-cracked in the knuckle department! I would not be subjected to attempted side conversations...

In the middle of my internal joyous soliloquy, she looked around, saw me all by myself, packed up her books and came to plunk her person next to mine.

"My back row buddy would have missed me," said she.

What I said cannot be repeated on this blog.

Or rather, I smiled at her and made some mumblings of "You know it" or some such trite saying.

Hairdo Lady was in rare form again... my favorite style being most of her hair in a bun, with a rat-tail-ish thing hanging down her back... and then, heaven help us all, the rat-tail was put in a ponytail... and at various junctions during the evening, threatened to be braided as well.

I fantasized about giving her a haircut. Preferably one that left only about a half inch of hair all over her head.

Oh, and I learned stuff about A&P as well.

Cells are small.

Smaller than what we can see with the human eye. And yet, they have about 873 parts, all of which are named with names that are mighty in syllable!

But, I had my first-of-the-season Pumpkin Latte from Starbucks that I nursed through the first portion of class... and that spells L-O-V-E!

(Stay tuned for next week's post entitled "Tales from the person who sat on the professor's desk, so she wouldn't ever be distracted again...")

Because Who DOESN'T Need A Pair of These??

Not Quite A Wandering Minstrel

More like a Studying Geekstrel...

I made some flashcards to help me study for A&P.

And I decided to take a walk and study at the same time.

Until I got to the church, and heard low guttural sounds and much rustling in the bushes.

So, I made the wise choice to go back home.

And I walked around and around and around our driveway. I think ten times is a mile... I'm sure I did more than that.

Studying, studying, studying.

Who's idea was it to call the front of the leg "crural" and the back of the leg "sural?" They sound like badly named twins.

However, in my humble opinion, I think that the front of the knee being "patellar" and the back "popliteal" is just plain clever!

A & P = Good!

And so it begins! The chronicling of my classes & studies. Basic A&P started on Thursday night, and I've thought of not much else since then.

The class goes from 5:00 - 10:15, which I consider a long time, especially after a full day of work... however, the information on the first night was completely fascinating, and I loved being in a classroom setting again. At least, I loved it until 8:25, but that'll come later.

Even though I'm an extreme people person, going into new situations with lots of strangers fills me with quite a bit of angst, so when I got to the classroom, I went to the back row, arranged my books around me and tried to exude please-don't-sit-next-to-me-ness. I think I was born without that specific gene, because my life consistently shows that no matter how much I try to give off that vibe, it has the opposite effect.

The room was eerily quiet as everyone sat there, waiting for class to begin, when the door opened and in walked this girl who was probably well over six feet. She looked all around the room and started walking toward the back... and to the seat next to me. In the dead silence, she turned, smiled and yelled "HI." I about came out of my chair!

During class, I could see her in my peripheral vision, and she was constantly staring at me. I'd crack my knuckles - she'd crack seven of hers. I'd take notes - she'd start writing feverishly. At 8:25, after lots of talk of body regions, cavities, medical names of things, and other fascinating subjects, the professor said, "Now it's time for chemistry." Had my teeth fallen out of my head like they wanted to, I'm sure my shadow would have produced some as well.

"I've already TAKEN chemistry," she stage whispered to me. I tried to focus on my notes.

"I'VE ALREADY TAKEN CHEMISTRY," she said, getting closer to me. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

At this point, I was hanging onto the information being taught by a very fine thread, and couldn't be distracted by giants who had already taken chemistry.

But she & I weren't the only students in the class. There were 18 in total... and being the consummate people watcher that I am, I had to keep reminding myself that I needed to listen to what the professor was saying, instead of wondering what the life story of each of my classmates was.

One lady in the front row started out the evening with a beautiful french braid. A little while later I thought, "Hey - where'd french braid lady go?" She was still there, but had taken down her hair. A few minutes later it was up in a pony tail... then down again... the two pony tails... then down and twirled around her fingers... then up... she changed hairstyles at least 17 times during class. (And NO, I wasn't counting. I was focusing on chemistry!)

Or the person in front of me who was taping the class on her little hand held recorder. She would pick it up every couple of minutes to see if it was still doing it's job.

Or the very young person who looked at the clock almost continuously, and would sigh when the minutes weren't moving fast enough for her liking.

In Swedish Massage 1, there wasn't a lot of studying, and even less homework involved. This class will be very different, but I'm ready to take on the challenge... I'll be even more ready when the chemistry portion is over!

So - to recap:

A&P = good
Chemistry = not so much

Tonight, as I stared at the Stars...

... and once again asked God questions, I remembered this song that a friend sang for me when I was leaving VA. It was true five years ago... It's true now.

I was hoping you would write to me a message in the stars
As if the stars themselves were not enough
And I awaited your arrival here from some place very far
As if I couldn't feel your constant touch

There you are - loving me like crazy
There you are - though I am unaware
There you are - when my heart is doubting
Even there you are

I was waiting for a miracle and hoping for a sign
As if each breath I take is not a gift
And I was acting just as if the way you gave your life for mine
Didn't have my foolish heart convinced

There you are - loving me like crazy
There you are - though I am unaware
There you are - when my heart is doubting
Even there you are

I was hoping you would write to me a message in the stars
As if the stars themselves were not enough

-Carolyn Arends

Saturday Equation

DJ + Me + motorcycle + long ride = H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

I suggested we keep riding... like maybe to Minnesota.
He said he had to be home by 5:00.
I suspect he just doesn't like Minnesota.

You're Fired!!

My newest little masterpiece... Love it!

A Savior Complex

In an evening meeting last week, Pastor Tad mentioned how as alive Christians we need to be able to feel other people's pain. He talked about bearing other's burdens. And I agreed... his talk excited me, because I love people and yearn to help... yet the thought also exhausted me, because I often allow myself to feel their pain much too deeply.

And as I talked with Amy about it afterwards, and continued thinking about it throughout the week, I realized the exhaustive panic comes from carrying all the pain myself. I forget to take the next step, and lay the pain down at the foot of the cross.

There are times that I am not called to go through the deep waters that others have been called to go though.

Nor have I been called to save the people who are in those waters. That was already done... by Someone much more qualified than myself.

I have merely been called to support... and to take the hurt, anger, pain, sickness, sadness, and brokenness to the place it belongs... to the cross... and then to leave it there.

The Return of The Swamp Rat

Back in June, I posted about my leaking car that turned my "I-need-to-wear-this-jacket-because-the-AC-at-work-was-on-overdrive" jean jacket into a thing reeking of swampness.

This morning I pulled out that same jacket, because Fall is fast descending on this great state!

And as I did so, I got a strange whiff... of swamp.

WHO, I ask you, in ALL OF CREATION just hangs a swamp-smelling jacket up in the coat closet without WASHING the swampness out of it first?? Just so that two months down the road, one can be surprised all over again by the joy of repelling all those around them with the stench.

Apparently, that would be me.

Once I Was Afraid - I Was Petrified...

I signed up to take Basic Anatomy & Physiology. And I was really excited about said class. It begins in just a few weeks, so I decided to get a jump-start on learning. I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday and scoured several A&P books... and realized that I'm completely screwed!

Who even named these stupid muscles that we have?? Was there a ban on easy when they did so?

For those of us who are not confident spellers, it seems like some sort of sick joke that not only will I need to know where the Sternocleidomastiodeus muscle is and what it does, but that I'll also need to SPELL IT??

After seeing names like Flexor Digitorum Longum and Supraspinatus, I almost kissed the page on which I found the hamstring!

If anyone needs me in the next four months, I'll be the one rocking back and forth, eyes wide in terror, mumbling softly to myself... but don't be surprised if you can't understand the words I'm saying... they're probably just the names of the muscles that I'm using to rock back and forth.

Homesick

The dictionary defines being homesick as "longing to return home." How then can I explain being homesick for a place that I've never been?

This morning as I drove to work, the sun was absolutely beautiful as it broke through the clouds. The glow was stunning, and I felt as if I had been granted a glimpse into Heaven. And I was so homesick, I cried...

Another part of the dictionary's definition is "acutely longing for one's family or home." Perhaps that's where homesickness comes into play when thinking about Heaven.

This morning's sunrise made me feel like it was just a matter of stretching my arms out a little further and I would be dancing with Mindy... or getting to know Grandma Springer on level different than I could as a third grader... or being wrapped in one of Uncle Lloyd's better-than-anyone's hugs... enjoying Andrew's wonderfully dry sense of humor... laughing at the bluebirds with Mrs Holland... enjoying the mutual admiration society of being around Aunt Jan... hugging nieces & nephews that have been whisked away from earth before we had a chance to hold them... and best of all - throwing myself at Jesus' feet, and feeling Him wrap His arms around me, lift me to my feet and hearing Him whisper in my ear, "Well done..."

You're in a better place,
I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken,
the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you?

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

- Homesick by MercyMe

Dr Laura Says...

... that mothers and daughters shouldn't be best friends. She says that there should be a closeness, but not a best friend relationship.

I disagree...

I've always loved my mother, and always looked to her for advice, but in the last 15 years she's become one of the people that I most love talking with, spending time with, and just being with.

Because of geographical distance, giving her hugs is not a part of my daily life, but there are other things, like daily phone calls, that keep us close.

So on this day, an anniversary of her birth, I say, "Happy birthday, Mom. I love that you're my best friend!"

Pity we wont make it into any of Dr Laura's books :)

Satirical Happy Book

Years ago I went through a nice long stage of keeping my spirits lifted by writing down at least three things I was grateful for/ happy about before going to bed each evening. It was a good way to wind down, and got my thoughts in a better place before drifting off.

During that time, with the help of a cleverly resourceful friend, on the not-so-good days, we resorted to a satirical happy book... and to tell the truth, this was often times much more fun. We'd chortle with glee at each new entry, and it did just as much to raise the spirits as the real-live happy book.

When I lived and worked in VA, another friend and I would email back and forth things we were happy about, when the days seemed especially hard or long.

At work, I've been dubbed Pollyanna, and today as someone was complaining about the horribleness of this particular Monday, I knew I'd be taking my life in my hands to try the whole "How about think of things that you're happy about, and we can write them back and forth to each other."

So, I pulled out the satirical suggestion, and it once again amazed me how quickly irritants can become laughable when sharing them in satire!

(Somewhere, niggling in the back of my mind, I wonder if I've blogged about the satirical happy book before. How awkward and embarrassing if it turned out I was plagiarizing myself!!)

I Love Despair.com!

A Classy Establishment

Amy & I frequent a yummy restaurant in Manchester... and on the way back from our last trip, we saw this. Tells you a little about the area our fave food is in. But the burritos are amazing! What can we say?

Things I Love...

* Being pampered

* Uncle Rick & Aunt Kath

Things I love a LOT

* Being pampered BY Uncle Rick & Aunt Kath!

(this past weekend was spent in Maine... drinking coffee on the swing looking at the lake, going out to eat, napping in the hammock, going out in the kayak, tubing, swimming, l-o-n-g afternoon boat ride, movie watching, lots of wonderful chats, and being LOVED by two people whom I adore!)

Pool-y Challenged

You've read about the pool before... that I got stuck inside it while we assembled it.

However, there is a new development.

I'm beginning to wonder if I am the butt of some cosmic joke... if the pool gods are truly against me.

This has been a storm-filled summer here in NH. We've had countless rainy days, varying from short little showers, to severe thunderstorms that wreak havoc.

And these storms have ALL been at times that I've wanted to get in the pool!

During the work week I try and get outside at every break and lunch, just to see the sun, and remember that there is more to life than what happens inside those big walls. And when I go out, it's so hot and sunny, that I spend the rest of the day, back at my desk, thinking about going home and getting in the pool.

For the last few weeks, almost without fail, by the time I get home it's either already raining, severely cooled down, or threatening to rain.

Today was very hot and very sunny. I went to my river spot after church, and got so hot there that I came home to get in the pool. Chatted with Jill for a bit, and changed into my swimsuit. By the time I got into the pool, the grey clouds had completely obliterated the sun, and there was a pretty steady (read: very chilly) breeze.

I quit!

My New Wheels - Insert Loud HURRAHS!

Love Those Kisses!

Diary of a Me

Inspired by the loquacious and bullety format of her cousin, our blogging heroine will now regale with what's been going on in her life since her post l-o-n-g ago....

Buckle seat belts, and... GO!

Sunday, last - Flew home from trip-of-a-lifetime with four of my nearest and dearest. Was so happy to be home that I giggled while crawling into bed that night.

Monday - Slept in, and then got a new car.

(Oh, do you want more details? It's true! I will no longer be writing posts about windows unzipping on the highway, rain pouring in, or how much fun it really was to drive with the top down on the way to the ocean. I will now be writing posts about having a reliable four dour with a hard top that I can actually take through a car wash! For those of you who know or care about car-ness, it's a '00 Pontiac Sunfire that had only 69,000 miles. Yay Paul! PS - it's gold)

Tuesday - Woke up feeling as if I'd been tossed against a wall repeatedly. Jetlag is an amazing thing. Slogged around for most of the day, then took a friend out for dinner.

Wednesday - Went back to work, and my email box was full, full, full! Sorted through that, chatted up my peeps, and got not much else done.

Thursday & Friday - See Wednesday... only add in a couple meetings, a little more productivity and a little less fullness of the email box

Saturday - Went to Panera with Evan and the kids, and the beach with Amy.

Sunday - Church, phone call that makes me smile every time I think about it, and Martina McBride concert (yup, it was amazing!)

Monday - Went back to work, along with a skeleton crew. This week is the week to be on vacation, boy howdy. Guess I jumped the gun by being out last week.

Tuesday - Worked a full day, and was interrupted by people going my desk on their way to start the holiday early, whispering, "Just leave early... I wont tell." Clung on by my fingernails until 4:15, when I leapt from my chair and flew to my car. Went to an amazing fireworks show in Portsmouth with Amy, and my face is still hurting from smiling so much. They were STUNNING!

Now, you have been updated on the events of my life, and I no longer have guilt.

PS - Happy 4th!

The Long Awaited Journey

On Wednesday, Drewey, Amy, Craig, DJ & I flew out of Boston at an ungodly hour to the great state of CALIFORNIA!!
Our trip has been a wonderful success! We've seen the sunset on the ocean twice, laughed so hard we cried way more than twice, been to San Fran, hugged the groom, met the bride, prayed together on the beach, taken more than 700 pictures (and that's just Drewey!), eaten at the best taqueria on the planet, put many miles on our rental Jeep Liberty, made fast friends with the Starbucks folks, and have had many other memory-making moments.

YAY for friends! YAY for weddings! YAY for California! YAY for God's very evident fingerprints on this trip!

Thinking It Through

This afternoon Evan, Jill & I assembled a pool for the backyard!

As we were putting it up, in my ultimate wisdom I had the idea to get inside the pool to straighten out the bottom while they raised the sides. It worked like a charm! The bottom of the pool was nice and tidy and smooth, and then...

HOLD THAT THOUGHT!

I was STUCK! The sides of the pool were completely raised, coming up to my chin. There was no way out!

So, I stayed in there for 45 minutes while they assembled a ladder to rescue me.

Good times!

PS - Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I think you're pretty much the bomb diggity, and I'm a lucky little girl to be your daughter!

So, Last Wednesday...

Craig, Drewey & I spent the day in Boston...



And that night, I went to Fenway for the FIRST TIME!

How was that day spelled?

H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S!!



(my first glimpse of Fenway)

My "ER" haircut

This past week I got an ER haircut.

I went shortER and blondER.

In fact, I went so blonde that I felt my IQ drop several points.

It Only Took Me 28 Years!

This weekend I ran into someone who I haven't seen in several years. It took them about three seconds to notice my nose ring.

Their comment:

"Well, that's the first cool thing you've done!"

WOW!

The rest of the weekend I was making mental lists of other "cool" things I've done, to try and validate my existence for the last 28 years.

Then, in a rash case of insecurity, I wrote them all out in bullet format to post on my blog.

But then I realized, I don't need to rationalize my life so that I'm marching to the beat of someone else's drum.

I love my life... except, of course, when I'm being mocked by "cooler" people.

So, I'm not going to post the "cool" things I've done in my life, but there was one that I thought of this morning that I never blogged about, and it makes me laugh every time I think of it... so below, for your viewing pleasure, the one thing that made me "cool" before last weekend's piercing!

Attempting to drag race (yes, in my Tracker) two strangers in their souped (you're welcome, Drewey :) up Honda in the middle of Manchester. Through the open window, as I gunned my accelerator, I heard them shout in disbelief, and then fly past me. Amy & I were laughing so hard we were both in tears for a good ten minutes afterwards!

And tonight, I got to put ice on Spiderman's boo boo, and I bet not even the aforementioned mocker has gotten to do THAT!

Ocean's Thirteen

Hmmm... I was disappointed.

I really liked Eleven, laughed out loud a few times at Twelve, but Thirteen was not what I would call a favorite... at all.

If you find it worth it to spend money for a ticket, popcorn and a soda to see a few shots of George Clooney's exceptionally long eyelashes, by all means go.

But if you don't, in my humble opinion, this new one in the series is certainly a renter.

Sad me.

Tales From A Swamp Rat

Yesterday was SO hot at work. I don't know what was going on, but the AC was not really doing it's job.

So, today, when I saw that the sun was shining, I dressed for it to be very warm outside and in. The sun was deceptive, and the AC had begun working.

No worries! I have a jacket in my car for such emergencies. Over break I ran to get it.

I forgot that my car sometimes leaks when it rains, and my new found warmth came with a bad surprise.

It smelled like swamp! Therefore, I smelled like swamp.

Because You Asked So Nicely

This is seconds after it happened... you can even see a little fuzz left over from the cotton ball she used to clean it.

Let the record show I was NOT CRYING. My eye was merely watering...

Things I Never Thought I'd Hear My Nephew Say

"Have fun getting your nose pierced!"

But, he did.

And, I did.

Pollyanna Is Not Dead

Generally, I try and see the good side of life. I try to make a conscious effort to focus on the "pro" side of a graph, rather than the "con," referring to it as my Pollyanna side.

Today was a day where I just couldn't rise above it. Work was so heavy, and I couldn't focus on anything positive. I sent an email to a friend stating "Pollyanna died in her sleep last night."

But, she didn't die... she just decided to stay home from work today.

She met me as a little blonde two year old, running to me with lit up face, so happy I was home from work. She wrapped her dirty-from-being-outside-all-day arms around my neck, and held on for dear life.

She was also in a wonderful summer-is-almost-here dinner of corn on the cob and salad.

And my precious apartment, that stays so cool when the weather is turning warmer.

No, Pollyanna is not dead!

Hurray!

Thoughts On This Tuesday

Today I had a conversation with a friend at work, and came out of it more convinced than I have been in a while that waiting for the one that God has for me is really what I want to be doing... not settling, not jumping the gun, not whining... just being patient.

I'd lost focus these last few months, and had been struggling with major feelings of discontent. And I wasn't used to that. In the last five years, I felt like I had a corner on the contentment market. Of course there were days where it wasn't fun to be single, but for the most part, I was living my life to the hilt, regardless of my status.

This past week I've been very sick, and for most of that time, I was really afraid. There were doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, phone conversations with doctor's offices, and no one knew what was wrong with me. Thankfully, they ruled out tumor and leftover gallstone from last fall's surgery, but then I was left with, "Sorry you're in pain, but we don't know what it is, so track your symptoms and keep us posted."

Thankfully, with the help of WebMD, I was able to figure out that my pain was coming from side effects of a medication that I'd been taking for several months. Yesterday was the first day since last Tuesday that I thought I might actually live!

As I was telling my co-worker this story, explaining my fear at two different appointments when they called in second opinions, he asked, "And were you all by yourself for this?"

"Yes," I replied, "but I was ok with that." (In fact, for the ultrasound, several people had offered to go with me, but I chose to go by myself)

He kept saying how sorry he was that I had been by myself, and the more I tried to reassure him that it had been ok, the more I felt myself being reassured. It almost felt like I was saying the words to myself, and he was just eavesdropping.

Then he began asking the whole, "Have you found someone yet?" questions, and then "Well, is there anyone on the horizon?" followed by "Would you be open to seeing someone outside of your faith? No... well, you do know that narrows the field, don't you?" (YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT??)

This unwillingness of me to open up myself to other faiths caused a silent shaking of the head, and he wanted to know why. When I explained a couple of the reasons, he still shook his head, and explained that he and his girlfriend are making it work. Fantastic! My heart is abounding in joy for them! However, I think theirs is a much-in-the-minority relationship in that aspect.

This type of conversation happens so frequently at work.

"He's cute - you should date him." (Sure cute would be nice, but far from my highest priority)
"He's nice - you should go out with him." (Yes, nice is something that I'm looking for, but once again, not the only characteristic)

But during today's conversation I finally got to use the sentence I've been wanting to for quite some time... "You know, people are actually capable of being happily single & content."

And this evening, my heart is thankful, because in trying to convince my friend that my life was still worth living, I saw that it really is... regardless of what's on (or not on, as the case may be) my left hand.

If You Think...

... that because I got tagged by two people, I'm going to list FOURTEEN random things, you're wrong. However, here are my seven.

1) I just had the opportunity to listen to the story of Jonah being put on in skit format by my niece & nephews outside my bedroom window. (The trampoline was the boat... Pastor Daddy was directing)

2) Lilac season makes me so happy that I tend to get a little teary when I smell them!

3) Topping the list of things I never want to hear my doctor say again: "Um, I'm going to get another doctor in here, because I'm feeling something I shouldn't & I'm not sure what it is." (That happened this morning, and after being convinced for five minutes that I had the-word-everyone-dreads-to-hear, the other doctor confirmed I have "low ribs" and they were just feeling the tip of my lowest one)

4) Last week I had an epiphany that I no longer hate my job!

5) Though I've been an avid "American Idol" fan for several years, this year has just not grabbed me, and I couldn't care less whether Blake or Jordin wins.

6) My free piano is in the midst of being fixed... bringing the cost of it's free-ness to over $1300.

7) I am so very, very rich in the friends that God has given me!

And if you like this type of thing, consider yourself tagged :)
If you don't, well then, consider yourself un-tagged!

Of Kilts

I like kilts! A lot!

When Darren & I were in Scotland (ten years ago this month) we saw lots of them, and I loved it! Never had something so boring as going to a grocery store been so much fun! I mean, I never see kilts in the Bedford Hannaford's!

Today as I was upstairs at work, out of the corner of my eye I saw a guy in shorts. "Not legal!" thought I. But then I looked closer... and he wasn't wearing shorts. He was wearing a kilt.

And he should not have been!

Some guys can pull that look off. He can't/couldn't/didn't.

Shudder.

Happy Feet!

Aaaaaaaaahhh!

Once a Big Brother...

... always a big brother.

My big brother flew up from VA this morning. And flew back this evening.

He and Evan went out for lunch. I got to leave a little early from work to spend time with him.

All of us took the kids to the park before I drove him back to the airport.

The four of us adults chatted while the kids played.

The sun was shining, the kids were laughing, my heart was full, and...

He even pushed me on the swings. For old time's sake.

I don't know that a girl ever out-grows her adoration of a big brother.

I sure haven't... for either one of mine.

Just Another Normal Tuesday

So, I was driving home from work.

And I had my foot peeking out the window to catch the breeze.

And I caught a bug in between my toes.

But then it stung me.

Wonder if I'm the only one that happened to today.

So, This is Kinda Funny

I heard of this quiz from one of my friends, who shall rename nameless, and thought it would be funny to do :)

Lindsay -- [noun]: A real life muppet 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

PS - want to know the definition of the aforementioned friend's name? "A person who falls into an outhouse and dies." I guess I should feel lucky to only be a muppet!

The Fate of My Knight

I finally met my knight in shining armor... we were happy, as you can tell!
Then Craig's stupid dragon ate him.

The end.

Yay For Filled-up Love Tanks!

This past Sunday, I went to see a play that several of my peeps from "The Boys Next Door" were either performing in/directing/stage managing... and we got PICTURES! The cast has stayed close, and have made it a point to support each other when we're performing.



John, Mary, Jason, Me
My beloved director, Tim
MARY!!! She was the Sheila to my Clara! :)

Just the Three of Us

The Real Me

Yesterday, Amy, Drewey and I were talking about recent events that have occurred in our country.

We started off laughing about silly old Don Imus and the remarks that got him fired.

Then, Drewey said that she had heard some radio commentators saying that one of the girls who Imus had referred to stated she had been “scarred for life” by what he had said. Sure, it was offensive, inappropriate and rude, but enough to scar someone for life?

And hearing that on the radio made Drewey think that the events of VA Tech were of a proportion to scar someone for life, not an insensitive racial slur.

All last evening and today I couldn’t stop thinking about that. There are events in life that can scar, and there are ones that hurt, but need to be looked at as just that… hurt, not scars.

In the last couple of weeks several things that have happened that caused my last blog post. A past relationship had resurfaced bringing much confusion and sorrow, someone I love had been hurt, and I was reeling with pain.

And I decided that my blog was too open for speculation, and I didn’t want to be scrutinized while dealing with the pain. So, I stopped writing. But I dreadfully missed the outlet that writing brought.

Several of my close friends closed ranks and sent me messages, reminding me of God’s faithfulness. When I mentioned on another website that I was struggling to remember that God knows what He’s doing, one of my world traveling friends wrote,

“God DOES know what He is doing! Always! Way to choose to believe it yet again...
And remember:

Give to the winds your fears; hope, and be undismayed,
God hears your sighs, and counts your tears.
God shall lift up your head.
Through waves and clouds and storms He gently leads the way!
Wait for His time, so shall the night soon end in joyous day!

Still heavy is your heart? Still sink your spirits down?
Cast off the weight! Let fear depart and every care be gone!
He everywhere has sway, and all things serve His mind;
His every act pure blessing is:
His path, unsullied light.

Leave to His sovereign will to choose and to command;
With wonder filled you then shall own how WISE, how STRONG His hand!

Thought maybe you could use a refresher course, my friend!”


Another friend, who knows me all too well, wrote saying, “Don’t retreat, Lindsay.”


So, this morning as I was thinking about events that do or do not scar for life, giving my fears to the wind, remembering that God “everywhere has sway”, not retreating, and missing the outlet that my blog brings, I thought, “Events in my life can only steal my joy if I LET them. And I don’t want to let them.”

And so I’m back… choosing to not be one who says “This little thing scarred me for life,” choosing instead to revel in the joy of being one who knows, that regardless of life’s experience, that my God is on the throne.