At work we have these little sheets of weird/interesting/informative facts in every bathroom called "Captive Audience," and they get updated twice a month.
This month they had something that made me laugh... it's a list of all the things you should have in your car during the winter to ensure safety if you were to ever get stranded. The list is so long I don't see how anyone could actually go anywhere with a family. There wouldn't be room for the kids! "Sorry Grandpa & Grandma - all of us wanted to come, but we had to leave two of your grandkids at home so we'd have room for all the stuff we'd need in case we were caught in a snowdrift."
Here are the suggestions of what every safety-conscious person should have in their vehicles at all times during the winter months...
~Shovel
~Sand or cat litter (for traction)
~Tire chains
~Booster cables
~Cell phone
~Extra warm clothing or boots
~Ice scraper
~Small tools (evidently you get to choose which small tools you want with you - choose wisely!)
~Winter sleeping bag or blankets
~Snack food
~Water
~Flashlight with good batteries (You get to choose on this one as well - which are "good" batteries??)
~Matches
~Newspaper
~Games & toys (If you don't have room for the kids, what good are the games and toys?)
~Ziplock bags (I will not put what they did next to this one!)
~A 12 volt adapter coil heater that can plug into the lighter to heat water
So, drive quietly and carry a full carload!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Scared Out of my Skull
I was watching some episodes of "24" this afternoon, and when I do that by myself all my nerve endings are in a heightened state. When I'm ready to go downstairs, I have to get off the couch gingerly, coaching myself on how to walk again... furtively looking right and left for people that might be ready to jump at me with guns blaring.
The last episode I watched ended dramatically with a large power outage. I was cautiously making my way to the stairs, and reached over to turn on the light. As I flipped the switch, the lightbulb blew, causing me great alarm which I showed in screaming at the top of my lungs. I then started to laugh, because it really was funny, but the laughing was kind of half-hysterical... the "assuring oneself that what just happened was really funny" laugh.
The last episode I watched ended dramatically with a large power outage. I was cautiously making my way to the stairs, and reached over to turn on the light. As I flipped the switch, the lightbulb blew, causing me great alarm which I showed in screaming at the top of my lungs. I then started to laugh, because it really was funny, but the laughing was kind of half-hysterical... the "assuring oneself that what just happened was really funny" laugh.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Create Your Own Clever Title - I'm Fresh Out of Ideas!
I heard a story about a little girl who learned this verse at Sunday school: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Gather which is in Heaven."
Later that day, she asked her mother the meaning of this verse. Her mom said, "Well, it means that when you are good, kind and thoughtful you are letting Christ's light shine in your life before all who know you."
The very next Sunday the little girl got into an argument with another student and created somewhat of an uproar... to such an extent that the teacher had to go and find the little girl's mother.
The concerned mother came and said to her little girl, "Sweetie, don't you remember about letting your light shine for the Lord before others?"
The child blurted out, "Mom - I have blowed myself out!"
Don't you feel like that sometimes??
Later that day, she asked her mother the meaning of this verse. Her mom said, "Well, it means that when you are good, kind and thoughtful you are letting Christ's light shine in your life before all who know you."
The very next Sunday the little girl got into an argument with another student and created somewhat of an uproar... to such an extent that the teacher had to go and find the little girl's mother.
The concerned mother came and said to her little girl, "Sweetie, don't you remember about letting your light shine for the Lord before others?"
The child blurted out, "Mom - I have blowed myself out!"
Don't you feel like that sometimes??
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Drama, Drama, Drama
No, I haven't gotten another part in a play. This is "Drama in Real Life" for Reader's Digest if I ever heard of some.
Yesterday was my first day back at work after eleven very spoiled days off. I started a new hire class, and it went surprisingly well. I was telling Mom & Dad this with much gratitude on the phone last night. I had been previously assured that the day was well covered in prayer by several people, and I definitely chalk up the smooth sailing to that intercession. In jest, Mom and Dad threatened that since the day had gone so well, just for kicks perhaps they'd not pray for me today. Even though I know that they did, I was beginning to wonder by the time I left work today!
I was looking forward to the day in the classroom, because there were two hours of the day that the class was scheduled for presentations from other departments, so I was off the hook for a bit.
The Vice President came in at the scheduled time to do his presentation, and I went upstairs to check with the next person who was scheduled to talk to the class. While I was up there, I heard my name being paged over the loudspeaker. Now, in some companies that's not a big deal. At Oxford, it's huge. The loudspeaker goes into every crevice in the building, and is only used perhaps once a month... sometimes even more time elapses between uses. It's pretty much only for extreme family emergencies or if you parked in the wrong spot and the receptionist is out to get you! The reason it's so infrequently used is because it's guarded by our front desk receptionist, who is a wonderfully cranky older lady, who is the extremest (yes, I know that's not a correct adjective, but I liked it in this case!) no-nonsense person I've ever met. I am one of the only people at work who thinks she's "wonderfully cranky" because she actually likes me, so I don't have many run-ins with her.
Panic coursed through my veins as I picked up a nearby phone to call the front desk. All my friends that were around stood up and starting razzing me, "Lindsay - did you park in the front circle??" I reached the receptionist after only one ring and she said, "Lindsay, someone from your class is down here having a gallbladder attack in the lobby. Just thought you'd like to know."
"Fantastic," I replied, hanging up the phone and running down the hall. "Fantastic" has become my new word for "Crap - the world is falling apart around me!"
(I later heard all the ruminations of the coworkers who heard me let out a loud "Fantastic" and then saw me running away. Some thought it must be very bad, but the others said it "can't be bad because she said Fantastic." They then decided I had probably gotten flowers delivered at work, which would explain both the happy explosion of words and the rushing away.)
Arriving in the lobby, I saw my poor new hire (only on day TWO of her job there at Oxford), doubled over and writhing in agony. The ambulance was called even though it wasn't life threatening, (because I was informed that I couldn't take her to the hospital due to company policy) and I sat with her, rubbing her back and waiting it out. (But first, because of company policy, I had to ask her permission to rub her back) I also knew that she was a friend of someone I knew who works there, who is a Christian, and that they attend the same church. While the receptionist had her attention on talking to the 911 operator, I whispered to the new hire that I knew she went to so&so's church, and would she like me to pray for her. She moaned a quiet "yes," and I sent up a prayer so quietly that only because God is God, could He have heard.
The fire truck came... the police came... and the ambulance finally came. And this poor girl got loaded into the back, having told me that there was no one for me to call to meet her at the hospital.
After they got her loaded in, Wonderfully Cranky Receptionist told me that I had done a great job of staying calm and keeping the new hire calm, and then I got all shaky and told said receptionist that now I was going to fall apart. I am not ok when bodies don't do what they're supposed to do! It's not a gift I have. But, I was amazed and grateful at how calm I was able to stay, and thought that maybe a new leaf has been turned over in this new year. Not that I'm going to go out and find a whole bunch of bodies that aren't acting right, but still, I guess God really does give grace for us to handle what we thought we couldn't. Amazing how true those verses can be :) After I got myself together, I had so much adreneline pumping through me that I felt like I could do about anything. Twenty minutes later it all left, and I felt like I'd never be able to stand up again!
So then, later this afternoon, the door of the classroom opened, and in walked our morphined-up gallbladder heroine! Bless her heart, she had been discharged from the ER and taken a taxi back to work, so she didn't miss all of her second day. I'm only hoping she stays on as an employee, because she's the type we need - desperately!
Move ahead to 4:15... class gets out at 4:30. I was just beginning to believe that the day would end on a quiet note, when another participant ran up to my desk, said, "I need to go to the bathro..." and continued to run out the door, vomitting as they went. OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! After a few minutes I had to go and find her, and she met me in the hall, begging to go home early. "PLEASE DO," I wanted to holler, waving hand sanitizer all over the place, but instead I calmly replied, "Of course - don't worry about a thing!"
I stayed late tonight, cleaning the daylights out of the classroom...
Yesterday was my first day back at work after eleven very spoiled days off. I started a new hire class, and it went surprisingly well. I was telling Mom & Dad this with much gratitude on the phone last night. I had been previously assured that the day was well covered in prayer by several people, and I definitely chalk up the smooth sailing to that intercession. In jest, Mom and Dad threatened that since the day had gone so well, just for kicks perhaps they'd not pray for me today. Even though I know that they did, I was beginning to wonder by the time I left work today!
I was looking forward to the day in the classroom, because there were two hours of the day that the class was scheduled for presentations from other departments, so I was off the hook for a bit.
The Vice President came in at the scheduled time to do his presentation, and I went upstairs to check with the next person who was scheduled to talk to the class. While I was up there, I heard my name being paged over the loudspeaker. Now, in some companies that's not a big deal. At Oxford, it's huge. The loudspeaker goes into every crevice in the building, and is only used perhaps once a month... sometimes even more time elapses between uses. It's pretty much only for extreme family emergencies or if you parked in the wrong spot and the receptionist is out to get you! The reason it's so infrequently used is because it's guarded by our front desk receptionist, who is a wonderfully cranky older lady, who is the extremest (yes, I know that's not a correct adjective, but I liked it in this case!) no-nonsense person I've ever met. I am one of the only people at work who thinks she's "wonderfully cranky" because she actually likes me, so I don't have many run-ins with her.
Panic coursed through my veins as I picked up a nearby phone to call the front desk. All my friends that were around stood up and starting razzing me, "Lindsay - did you park in the front circle??" I reached the receptionist after only one ring and she said, "Lindsay, someone from your class is down here having a gallbladder attack in the lobby. Just thought you'd like to know."
"Fantastic," I replied, hanging up the phone and running down the hall. "Fantastic" has become my new word for "Crap - the world is falling apart around me!"
(I later heard all the ruminations of the coworkers who heard me let out a loud "Fantastic" and then saw me running away. Some thought it must be very bad, but the others said it "can't be bad because she said Fantastic." They then decided I had probably gotten flowers delivered at work, which would explain both the happy explosion of words and the rushing away.)
Arriving in the lobby, I saw my poor new hire (only on day TWO of her job there at Oxford), doubled over and writhing in agony. The ambulance was called even though it wasn't life threatening, (because I was informed that I couldn't take her to the hospital due to company policy) and I sat with her, rubbing her back and waiting it out. (But first, because of company policy, I had to ask her permission to rub her back) I also knew that she was a friend of someone I knew who works there, who is a Christian, and that they attend the same church. While the receptionist had her attention on talking to the 911 operator, I whispered to the new hire that I knew she went to so&so's church, and would she like me to pray for her. She moaned a quiet "yes," and I sent up a prayer so quietly that only because God is God, could He have heard.
The fire truck came... the police came... and the ambulance finally came. And this poor girl got loaded into the back, having told me that there was no one for me to call to meet her at the hospital.
After they got her loaded in, Wonderfully Cranky Receptionist told me that I had done a great job of staying calm and keeping the new hire calm, and then I got all shaky and told said receptionist that now I was going to fall apart. I am not ok when bodies don't do what they're supposed to do! It's not a gift I have. But, I was amazed and grateful at how calm I was able to stay, and thought that maybe a new leaf has been turned over in this new year. Not that I'm going to go out and find a whole bunch of bodies that aren't acting right, but still, I guess God really does give grace for us to handle what we thought we couldn't. Amazing how true those verses can be :) After I got myself together, I had so much adreneline pumping through me that I felt like I could do about anything. Twenty minutes later it all left, and I felt like I'd never be able to stand up again!
So then, later this afternoon, the door of the classroom opened, and in walked our morphined-up gallbladder heroine! Bless her heart, she had been discharged from the ER and taken a taxi back to work, so she didn't miss all of her second day. I'm only hoping she stays on as an employee, because she's the type we need - desperately!
Move ahead to 4:15... class gets out at 4:30. I was just beginning to believe that the day would end on a quiet note, when another participant ran up to my desk, said, "I need to go to the bathro..." and continued to run out the door, vomitting as they went. OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! After a few minutes I had to go and find her, and she met me in the hall, begging to go home early. "PLEASE DO," I wanted to holler, waving hand sanitizer all over the place, but instead I calmly replied, "Of course - don't worry about a thing!"
I stayed late tonight, cleaning the daylights out of the classroom...
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