Exercisers Anonymous

"Hi, my name is Lindsay, and I hate exercising."

(I should be hearing a rousing "Hi Lindsay" from those of you who also feel this way!)

I truly, truly hate it. I hate spelling it because I'm always wanting to add a "c" after the "x", and I hate doing it.

A couple nights ago I was with a friend and she said, "Lindsay - I've known you for over two years. I know you're not an angry person. I've never seen you angry... except for when you talk about exercising. Then you scare me a little."

The experts say you should find something you love to do. Great point. Thank you, experts.

I love kickboxing! And did it for quite awhile, but it's across the road from work. I get out of work around 4:00... kickboxing starts at 6:30. I don't want to hang around the thriving metropolis of Hooksett for 2.5 hours, nor do I want to drive half an hour home, change, drive half an hour back, get my butt kicked for an hour, and drive the half an hour home again!

So, I got the videos. Billy Bob, Billy Bo, OH - Billy BLANKS! Not really a good time.

This New Year's I made the "resolution" that I had to exercise before watching TV in the evening.

In order to do that, I decided to take the expert's advice and find something I liked to do. I found a dance video that I thought would be way more fun than an aerobic one. Here's the unfortunate thing. Don't know if it was my upbringing where dancing was not quite the thing to do, or if no one told me that my hips were actually fused at birth, but I am NOT a gifted dancer. I knew this about myself, but thought maybe a video would help. I get more of a workout laughing at my uncoordinated self, then I do from actually dancing. (side-note: In my mind I am an amazing dancer... practically a prima dona. On the dance floor, I am more like an epileptic squirrel. True Fact.)

But even this video, with it's laughter inducing moves, is getting on my nerves. The last time I did it I thought I might have a stroke, because she kept saying things like "The higher you jump, the more calories you burn" and I would yell at her that I was jumping as high as I could, thank you very much. Then she'd say "Give it all the energy you can" to which I screamed that I didn't have any energy left, and would she please leave me alone.

My favorite exercise is to just take walks. But trying to take walks during the winter in NH is a post of its own... snow banks, snow plows, ice, leave for work when it's dark, get back when it's dark... well, you get the gist and now I don't need to write a new post.

If only my inner rage at exercise itself could burn calories, instead of raise my blood pressure, I'd be all set.

Funny thing is, this entire post was created while I was taking a two mile walk today... in sub-zero temps, climbing on snow banks when cars came, wondering just how long cheeks have to be exposed before they are frost-bitten, and proudly wearing the red hat that Evan informed me make me look like an old lady in a crosswalk.

Thank you for your time.