I Will Not Be Moved

Today started out sunny... both outside and in my heart.

And on the way to work my heart soared as I sang along with the radio

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

This fall I felt like I was constantly being pushed down. Constantly stumbling and making mistakes.

It was tiny, but there was an inner core strength.

And in the last few months as I've begun realizing who I am in Christ, I've felt that inner core grow stronger.

This morning, I was picturing it as a rod down my spine, keeping me upright.

And a rod across my shoulders keeping them broad.

Making a cross.

Because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, I can carry that inner strength wherever I go.

And this afternoon the storms came, not outside but in my heart. I had made some large miscalculations, and suddenly my future, in which I've had so much confidence lately, came crashing down.

I began to revert to the old Lindsay who I'm desperately trying to leave behind. The mental self-flaggalation began, as I berated myself for being so stupid.

God and I spent much of this afternoon in deep conversation, and I came to realize that even though it's so uncomfortable, this is where He wants me... out of my comfort zone.

He doesn't want me to be overconfident in my future... taking pride in the fact that I can take care of myself if I have to.

What's the good of having a God who wants to take care of me, if I don't allow Him to?

It's true. I will stumble. I will fall down. But I Will Not Be Moved.

So, I choose to smile while facing the future. Whatever happens.