After my recent post on chivalry, I've done a lot more thinking on the topic... had some discussions with friends, and come to a bit more of an understanding of what I think on the topic.
Here are the results:
In my opinion the seeming death of chivalry was brought on by the whole women's lib movement, and those of us who are coming in the aftermath have to decide which side to stand on... and the lines have become grayed, so the choice is harder then ever to make.
As a single woman, I have both sides screaming at me... one side stating that I don't need anyone else to make my life fulfilling... or to help me survive. It's my responsibility to prove to the world that I am just as competent as my male counterparts... more competent even, and I don't need help. Asking for or accepting help is admitting weakness... and weakness is not to be tolerated, when the goal is equality.
The other side, the side that comes from inside my heart, knows that I was created differently. It yearns to be taken care of... to freely admit that sometimes I do need help. To acknowledge that it feels comforting when someone is taking care of me... and to take pride in being what the world scoffs at as the "weaker sex."
Living under the microscope, watched carefully for being an almost 30 single career woman is an interesting place to find myself... Some are scornful because I freely admit that all I want to be is a wife and mother. Others are filled with disdain because I'm refusing to sit at home and wait for my knight to come in and sweep me off my feet... instead, I'm out following my dreams in school, and making a living for myself.
Is this where I saw myself when daydreaming as a little girl? Not at all. I had the names of my yet-to-be-born children all picked out... and even some potential groom's names :)
So here I am, trying to find the balance. Trying to prove myself in the world, desperately not wanting to be pitied for my single status, and yet trying to remember to graciously accept help if needed...
But there is still that little bit of me that wants the world to know that if there's not that specific someone out there taking care of me right now, I can do a pretty good job taking care of myself.
PS - all of this does not take into account the three amazing men in my family, who take good care of me, though two of them live miles and miles away.
Just this morning, my big brother was out in the snow at 6:15 helping me get my car started when the battery died.
2 comments:
Hooray for strong, independent women (and their brothers)!
As much as I enjoyed my singles years I do remember collapsing in tears after having to fight a few too many battles with those willing to take (financial)advantage of me. I remember my dad saying he wanted someone to come along to fight these battles for me. He did. Now I battle vomit, dirty diapers, and a house that will not stay clean. I still cry but not alone. I much prefer it this way.
Praying for your knight not because you can't make it without one but because you want one. And I believe there is one out there now swashbuckling away the bad guys. I hope he is like your brothers in nearly every way and makes your knees knock.
rlr
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