JAMBOG - Part the Second

In which I must create a McGyver like ending (utilizing the four things from my previous post) to a scenario put forth by the Honorable VA Joneses.

I pick:

Scenario #3: You're imprisoned in an old castle dungeon. Guards stand outside your cell. A moat surrounds the castle. How do you escape?

There was no way I was going to sit around in this castle, while such things as an exciting job as employee trainer at a local health insurance company awaited. I had to act swiftly.

"Guard dear," I said in my most coaxing voice, "Kindly step this way." He put his face to the bars in the door, and I put mine close to his.

"You have two options... You can either listen to my clever ideas about me being outside of these walls, or you can be part of my escape. If you choose the latter, I will give you the prize I just won at work... all expenses paid trip to a sub-zero-yet-supposedly-very-romantic ice hotel."

"Um - I'm not supposed to be talking to you," he said, in an oafish tone, as most guards in old castles are stereotypically typecast to use.

I sighed, and as I did, brought my right hand (which had been cleverly unplugging and clutching the only source of light that had been provided in my "room") up to the bars and struck him firmly on the head... all the while thinking to myself that weapons in most stories are not as aesthetically pleasing as mine.

I went to the window and whistled shrilly three times... and up to the edge of the moat roared my rescuer, perched atop his trusty metal steed with sidecar... said sidecar waiting patiently for me to inhabit it.

"Do you have the money to pay off the other guard," I asked, blue eyes ready to go puppy-dog style if need be.

"Though I am money personified," said he... "we will not be needing the traditional dollars and cents" and with a flourish he unfurled his startling long comb over. It stretched across the moat, and with very little coaxing I climbed out of the window, trounced across his hair without getting my shoes wet, and settled myself happily in the sidecar.

And that is all I have to say about that...