Tell me how you REALLY feel!

On the way home from work tonight, I followed a bright red little Hybrid car. It's license plate said...

NO4NOIL

"Very clever & applicable," thought I.

Then, on the left side of his bumper I spied a "W" sticker that had been crossed out. And on the right side of his bumper there was another sticker that said, "Somewhere in Texas there is a village missing it's idiot."

ANGRY EYES!!

Had there been a passing lane on the way home, I would have (in a VERY Christ-like manner, of course) whipped around this car and shown him my "W" sticker, that is proudly displayed on my back window. And I would have driven slowly in front of him, so he could bask in the glow of knowing that he lost this past November. And though I would have been a headline in tomorrow's newpaper - BLONDE BUSH SUPPORTER KILLED IN SENSELESS ROAD RAGE ACCIDENT - at least I would have died happily!

Staying the Course

Just another donut day tale...

Today when I got in the van, Jed announced that he was going to get a strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles. This differed greatly from his usual chocolate stick. Evan and I began chatting as we drove along, and then I became aware of a quiet little chant from the back seat. It went something like this...

Strawberry frosted donut

Strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles

Strawberry frosted donut

Strawberry frosted donut with sprinkles

Strawberry frosted donut um.... with sprinkles

He kept this mantra up for over 15 minutes, just quietly repeating it to himself. When we finally arrived at Dunkin Donuts, Evan asked Jed if he was sure of what he wanted to order and he triumphantly chanted STRAWBERRY FROSTED WITH SPRINKLES!

Writer's Block

I'm having a hard time coming up with a clever post. I also know that I haven't updated in a week, so here's what I would have written about, had I not had writer's block...

- How children in pajamas are like a therapy. I went to Evan & Jill's last night, and the kids were so precious in their jammies. Tucker is crawling now, and came flying to me with a huge smile to snuggle. Chloe has her footed pj's on backwards all the time now, because she was always taking them off. Jed was wearing cool almost-five-year-old-boy pj's with space ships on them. Balm to the spirit.

- I wonder if construction guys who whistle at females will have a special place in the after-life? And on which side would that special place be? Because even though it's horribly degrading, and makes one feel like a side of beef, it also made me laugh out loud, which I needed.

- We are going on the seventh weekend in a row where it has been rainy. My mood reflects the grayness & rain.

- Why is it funny in Shrek 2 when Puss-in-Boots hacks up a hairball, but not there is not one ounce of funniness when The Cuteness does it??

So, there is a glimpse into my writer's blocked mind. Here's hoping for sunnier weather, sunnier spirits & replenished wit!

Cosmic One-ness

Last night Amy graduated from UNH Manchester. (YAY for you, Amy!) They had a Universalist Unitarian female minister give the invocation, and she started her "prayer" like this.... "Oh Nameless One with many names..." The six of us in our row burst out laughing. How do you AMEN that one??

Bits & Pieces

- The kittens are getting cuter every day. The Cuteness got outside yesterday while I was trying to leave for church. I wanted her to be inside, attending to her children while I was away attending to my soul, so I begged and pleaded for her to come in. No such luck. I then resorted to drastic measures. Running to the box, I picked up a poor little eyes-still-shut kitten, and held it at the open door. That paragon of feline motherhood looked over at her bleating kitten, and walked the other way.

- Yesterday, Amy & I drove down to Rhode Island together for Andrea's graduation party. (Yay for you, Drewey!) On the way we stopped at the grocery store to get lunch. Amy got clam chowder - I got a salad. Salads are not easy to eat while you are driving, so Amy would eat a little of her chowder, then reach over and take the wheel, and I'd eat a little of my salad. It worked wonderfully.

- New moms are funny. Perhaps I think they're funny because I haven't been one, and will act just like them when I have my first child, but right now I just think they're funny. I went to visit a friend of mine who's baby is one month old today. While there, during our conversation, I swallowed wrong and tried to discreetly cough. New Mom handed me hand sanitizer, "Just in case you want to hold the baby again - we don't want her getting a cold." No colds, just inability to swallow my own spit, thanks!

Two days late...

I told The Cuteness that she should have her kittens on Mother's Day, because how clever is that?
Well, as always, she didn't listen to me.
Today I walked in from work to see my little kitty sitting in my pappazon chair, having just delivered three little kittens. And while I went over to congratulate her and look at the new batch, she gave birth to another one while I was watching.
They are all various patterns of black and white, but I haven't gotten a perfect glance yet, because she's keeping a pretty close eye on them.
So, congrats, Cuteness... even if it wasn't in time for Mother's Day...

A Class Act Felon

Other places on earth, opening someone's mailbox may be a felony, but not when you live on Chestnut Hill. It's an accepted, if not practically required practice to "mail" things to each other in the neighborhood, by just placing objects, letters, etc in the next mailbox down the road.
So, this weekend when my cousin Derrick called me from Fairwood to check his mail, it was something that I'm quite used to. What I wasn't used to, though, was the frequency with which he asked. He text messaged me once, and called twice to make sure I was checking it. Wise one that I am, I ascertained that he must be expecting something exciting in the mail. Finally on the third call I bluntly asked what was so important. It seems he was expecting a pair of sunglasses to complete his motorcycle ensemble. (The motorcycle is still missing, but the outfit it coming together nicely)
Having been woken up from my nap by this third call, my mind was desperately trying to think of something devious to get him back. Then, inspiration struck! I was going over to Fairwood that evening, so called Amy to see if she was game to leave 15 minutes early, as we suddenly needed to make a quick stop at the local Dollar Store.
We went inside & picked up a truly heinous pair of leopard print sunglasses. Going back to the car, I slit open the bottom of the box, only to discover two smaller boxes inside. It was kind of like one of those Russian dolls that you keep opening and finding yet more inside. I opened the bag (careful not to rip the sticker that sealed it), then opened the box... then opened the next bag which housed the sunglass case. I removed his much anticipated sunglasses and replaced them with the classy Dollar store find. I then put that back in the bag, in the box and in the outer bag, resealing it with the sticker.
Chortling along with Amy, we raced to Fairwood to see his reaction.... and anyone who knows this dear cousin of mine, knows that we were well within our rights to expect a grand reaction!
He practically danced with glee when I handed him the box. I had clued in a few people, so we were all watching with great anticipation. Well - remember how I said that there were TWO boxes inside, that looked exactly the same?? Murphy's law would have it that he opened the REAL sunglasses. And then refused to open the next box, insisting that they were exactly the same. I was incredibly disappointed. All those carefully laid plans for naught!
I kept the sunglasses until last night, but fearing for the eardrums of the unsuspecting sales rep who might have taken his call when he discovered the second pair of glasses, I brought them to his apartment last night....
Sigh! I HATE it when practical jokes fall flat... At least I can bask in the glow that it COULD have been splendid had he played the game right!

Saturday Ramblings

Today, instead of the regularly observed Donut Day, we went into Manchester and participated in the local CPC's "Walk for Life." It was cold & pouring rain. This was my third year of going on the walk, and the other two have been beautiful days, but this one will go down in the record books as anything but beautiful! Jill took the two little kids to "shop for life" at the mall while Evan, Jed & I joined the sodden masses to go the two miles in downtown Manchester. Even though it was miserable weather-wise, there were so many smiles & you could hear laughter, because everyone was happy to be there for a good cause.

3, 2, 1 CONTACT...

Claire - you may not want to read this one :)

The other night as I was taking out my contacts, it was causing much pain. It was taking a wicked long time to get the one in my right eye out, and I couldn't understand why it was so painful. Then I realized... I had already taken it out! My poor little eye had been enduring the full brunt of my finger trying in vain to find and remove my contact.

Yes - it is hard to be me!