Randomosity

The first weekend I went home, it was hard to get back in my car and drive, because I didn't feel ready. I didn't feel as if I had connected with enough people, I felt as if my love tank was not full, and I wouldn't make it through the week.

This weekend was so wonderful and so filled with people, that it was hard to get in my car and come back because I didn't want to leave the feeling of having my love tank all filled up.

But here I am. At the end of this week I'll be half way through!

Today was strange. A dichotomy.

I was not training. We finished a week early, so I'm here to help coach them while they take their first week of calls, before I start my second class next Monday.

So, I had some down time in between the questions. And I relished the time to email or communicate with friends back home that I've only had brief moments to talk to since I left.

And yet with that down time, and the availability of ready communication came an extra dose of missing those I love.

Missing loved ones hurts.

Last night I decided I needed to go to the ocean after work today! So, I found a map, found a route and got in my car right after work this afternoon to head to the coast. There was a precious little town near the water, and I drove through, my spirits rising as my body could feel the presence of the ocean... the expectancy that over the next little hill, I would see the water.

I walked around the parks near the water for a long time, and as I stood on a boardwalk, overlooking a marsh I thought, "THIS is what this trip was for. To get outside of the stagnancy that my life had become. To experience." And I was washed with a feeling of euphoria!

This last semester I learned that the air around the ocean is charged with negative ions which can help reset the body's psyche. I don't know what all goes on, but I do know that the ocean has always been my place of recharging, my place of talking to God more openly than I normally do, and I was grateful after a long day to have the wind blow in my face so strongly that it almost took my breath away.

And yet, half way through eating dinner, having just talked to my big brother, and missing him I was craving home. Craving the safety and security that just two weeks ago I was straining against! And that just an hour before, with the ocean wind in my face, I was euphoric I had put behind me.

One of my friends is famous for saying "Pick an emotion and roll with it." Today was not that kind of day.

In other news, this made me laugh today:

One of the girls walked into the classroom and said, "You know all that stuff about pork that's going on. I bet that's why I wasn't feeling well on Friday, because I ate some sausage in the morning."

"Do you mean the Swine Flu? Because that has nothing to do with pork," someone graciously pointed out.

"Oh."

End of conversation. Poor thing, probably thought she was well on her way to a spot on the six o'clock news!

And in still other news:

When I got back to my room tonight, there was a care package from the hotel manager... filled with bottled water, mug, candy, chips, and a pen. I call that kind!